My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
there was a trapeze. enough said
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
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