I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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