i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
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New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
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I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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