I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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