His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
oh god was she eating orange peels again
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
