why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Randomize
