Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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