if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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