So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
