I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
