you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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