You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
