Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
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