a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize