he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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