I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
