Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
