im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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