Yo dont text me then not text me
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
