I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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