you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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