I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
