Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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