I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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