I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
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