The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.