It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
