He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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