I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
