Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
