I want to make a zoo with you.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
