how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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