ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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