dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
