I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
