If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I bet he comes in French.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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