So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I puked a lego.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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