Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Just pee around me
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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