$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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