Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
