kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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