I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
