I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
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I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
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I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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