so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
