return my video game
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Randomize
