and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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