She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
