It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
