My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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