the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
