Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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