i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
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