Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do cheetos always look like penises
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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