i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
