Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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