I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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