the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
