I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize