i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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