Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize