While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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